I believe in lead dominos. Lead dominos are choices that have long term impacts on your life, which you may not realise at the time. I’ll do a more detailed post about decisions and the importance of making “better” decisions. For now, I want to talk about “the love filter” that I apply and believe that everyone should.
Let me explain how it was passed to me. A quick background story; I was in my early twenties and had just finished university and met who I believed was the “love of my life”. We had a whirlwind romance, especially with the crowd I was hanging with at the time in Manchester. It was really like scenes out of Young and Dangerous. Fast forward a couple years and I somehow was out in Malaysia, Singapore & Thailand and well, my “Bonnie” was running around without me back in the UK. Many things happened and it was a rough break up, which broke me and one I found difficult to overcome.
It was after one drunken night of drowning my sorrows in alcohol and a lot of partying in Bangkok, that I decided to call my father (of all people!) for some drunken advice at 3am.
He asked me 3 things, which I shall share here. They really hit home to me and woke me up out of my daze (Thank the universe!).
He asked, do I genuinely love her? I said yes.
Does she genuinely have my back / really love you? That was a resounding no, as much as my emotions wanted to say otherwise. I had friends who would at an instant fly over to help me out, but her, no.
Does she make you a better person? Emotions aside, definitely not, my business performance was poor, I was letting down friends & family around me and I was overall withdrawn.
After that, I made a lot of better decisions for my life, and applied this to the others and also as a filter for those around me.
The love filter
- You must genuinely love him/her.
- Does he/she genuinely have your back / really love you?
- Does he/she make you a better person. (Growth, spending time with your friends, family etc).
Use the points with discernment, take your time and answer them. I believe most people know the answers straight away, it just depends what they want to justify to themselves. People are energy and the person who you choose to spend the rest of your life with will either elevate you or bring you down. You want to elevate each other, ascension. So choose wisely.